Worlds Largest Onion
I understand from reading other peoples stories that I don’t have the worlds largest onion but dang it there are times when I swear I must be in the running to win. If you’re new to growth then you may not have heard of the cliche’ which means basically uncovering layer upon layer of wounds to heal, insights about your past to digest, etc. And yes there is generally a lot of painful finger cuts and crying involved!
As a young child I couldn’t seem to keep adults around. From death, to mental health, to alcoholism, to normal circumstances in life they just seemed to exit the door as quickly as they arrived. And the primary one left behind didn’t really seem all that happy to have me around. From a young child’s perspective it’s easy to see how deeply rooted the belief of not being wanted, of “something must be wrong with me” took hold. It’s a belief that has taken taken decades of counseling, stacks of books on the brain, beliefs and to how to contain the crazy!
At one point I even told a friend I was so sick of peeling the damn onion. I felt that at this point in my life I should be done peeling the onion, had it fried up and dipping it in ranch by now! Oh to be so lucky. For this reason, let me be the one to break it to you. If you’re breathing you got some peeling to do. So I join in the refrain of those who are truly out of their mind – learn to enjoy the process.
Let me help you fry it up faster!
In the last year I believe I’ve finally found the switch to the stove…you know the stove that is going to fry up the said onion. It’s still a practice I am incorporating into life but man it helps! It won’t stop the work of peeling the onion or the never ending discovering of more layers to said onion. However, It will allow you to fry that sucker up a heck of a lot faster. Which means fewer Knicks with the knife, tears shed and a lot more enjoying the tastiness of life. I.e., the fried onion dipped in ranch. Here’s the short version of the process of awareness to get you from peeling layers to ranch dipping.
Now it’s likely you may need to chew on that a while or perhaps even run the next one of your unexplainable bouts of negative emotion through it to get to the bottom. To keep to the 500-750ish word post limit I don’t have a lot of space left to share. However, I can tell you that little process has helped me get to the bottom of the false belief that I am wrong, something is wrong with me and I’m working really hard to change that belief that has been deeply engrained for a long time. Too long frankly.
Grab your journal; it’s your turn.
- The first step is awareness. Awareness that those negative emotions you are having are trying to tell you something. Whether it’s unexplained sadness, biting someones head off for no apparent reason or suddenly becoming a recluse in the middle of a party you were enjoying. Take note of what the negative emotion is.
- This step will take some time alone for reflection. However, it’s important to identify what was the trigger to the negative emotion and more importantly what childhood experience had a similar pain that would have intensified this situation. Almost always it is the childhood pain that causes the over reaction. As adults we are wise enough to know how to deal with it. Yet it’s the subconscious painful experience of childhood that magnifies it.
- Now note (and it could be multiple fears) what fears in life have resulted from that childhood pain. Fear of rejection, fear of missing out, fear of looking stupid? What is the fear.
- And lastly what false belief took root as a consequence of that fear? What evidence do you have that belief is not true. The best way to lock up those false beliefs in a jail so that they don’t continue to torment you is to make a case of irrefutable facts. I believe this quote sums it up. Get rid of the lies and you get rid of all the negative emotions and crappy feelings that go with them. Know the truth, believe the truth and watch how those feelings change.
You know the truth by the way it feels. -Unknown tweet