Ding Dong Disappointment Calling

Disappointment

Warning: Asking me what I “think” may take longer than you expected.

I’m starting to focus my social media time on Twitter again. I had forgotten how nice it is to have conversations with people from around the world about interesting topics. While the political bashing is hot and heavy on Twitter, I block it at all cost.  Safe from politics, Twitter is my favorite out of all the platforms, I find it much more authentic. When someone with hundreds of thousands of followers replies to your comments, it feels more personal.  Yesterday, @LewisHowes shared a tweet from @Foundr. It was a gif of a quote:

Disappointment either destroys you or drives you! The choice is yours! Choose now…choose well. – Tony Robbins tweet

They prefaced the quote with “What do you think?” Well, thank you for asking. πŸ™‚ I love to think! And thinking I did about that quote. So much so you’re reading about it here.

Context is important

Unfortunately, I don’t know the background in which Tony made that quote, so I’m not saying he’s wrong.  Tony has tremendous credibility, so I’m not debating the truth behind the statement.  Nevertheless, let me put in context my thoughts on the subject. Disappointments come in two categories. The heartbreaks that life throws at you. Things like death, health, injuries, being fired and the like – circumstances that are beyond our control. And the second category, the ones I find even more painful. These disappointments occur when we are under the illusion we are in control. We know what we want, we’re being and doing all the right things and progressing in the direction of what we want to achieve and boom! Disappointment happens – failure, not actualizing what we had hoped or disappointed that we didn’t receive what we expected from the achievement. This second category is the one this post addresses.

Ding dong disappointments are a wake-up call

With this second category in mind, there are a few things I’ve gleaned from those marvelous {insert sacrasm} lessons called disappointments in my life.  First, disappointment happens when our reality is different than our expectations.

Expectation is the root of all heartache. – William Shakespeare tweet

According to Behavioral Scientist, Dr. Steve Maraboli, “Expectations are an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.” So the quote from Tony is correct in that we have a choice. And depending on the choice we make it has the opportunity to destroy us or drive us forward. Specifically, the choice we all have to make isn’t to be destroyed or driven. The choice to be made, the moment disappointment rings its bell – DING DONG – will I take time to see whose at the door. Take time to stop and examine where are my attachments? And what fear is behind them? Ultimately, and most important, will I choose to let go.

Grab your journal, it’s your turn to grow:  If you haven’t already found the lessons from your last category 2 disappointment take a few moments to reflect on it and ask.

  1. What were (perhaps still are) my attachments in that scenario?
  2. What is the fear behind the attachment?
  3. What is the false belief about myself behind the fear?
  4. What steps can I take to change the false belief and to let go of this attachment?

If you’re on Twitter – let’s connect!

@karenzeigler

@devotedtogrowth (this blog)

@revampsucces (design thinking consultant business)

One thought

  1. Karen, What A Encouraging Reminder! I’ve Known For A Long Time That GOD’S PLAN Uses All Our Experiences…Positive & Negative. I Count It A GODLY Joy When GOD Let’s Me Share With Those In My Path. Hugs From Lilly & I. Prayers & Blessings For You Both, Gram!πŸ’™πŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ˜€πŸ•πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€ MICHIGAN BASKETBALL WON @ HOME! GO BLUE!

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